She needs that pillow because it helps with her neck pain. She had already told him not to use it, but he still did.

If someone shows you who they are, believe it.

This is especially true for people who have health problems. If a romantic partner doesn’t believe them or doesn’t respect their medical needs, that can be a warning sign. It may even show how they could treat them later.

Members of the “Am I Overreacting?” (AIO) subreddit shared this advice.

Her boyfriend didn’t just use her pillow, he also kept folding it. Because of that, the pillow started to lose its shape and didn’t work as well anymore.

The Original Poster (OP) was surprised that he was making such a big deal out of something that should have been a simple issue.

She asked the subreddit:

“Am I overreacting for snabbing at my boyfriend, who keeps folding my neck pillow in half?”

The OP had long-term back and neck pain, and she had finally found a pillow that helped her feel better.

“I have a lot of back and neck pain, and it’s hard for me to sleep through the night.”

“I often wake up with a stiff neck. I use a contour pillow with a special case that has filling inside it.”

“I’ve tried other pillows, but this one worked really well. It helped me wake up much less often just to fix how I was sleeping.”

“I’ve had it for years, and the company doesn’t even make it anymore. It was also very expensive when I first bought it.”

The OP started feeling more and more frustrated when her boyfriend began using the pillow.

“I’m always the first one up in the morning because I start work earlier. After I leave, my boyfriend always takes my pillow, folds it in half, puts it on top of his pillow, and lies on it like that.”

“It makes all the filling bunch up into one big lump in the middle. Folding it is also starting to ruin the shape of the pillow itself.”

“I’m really annoyed about it, and I’ve begged him to stop. I’ve told him it’s causing me more pain and making my sleep worse.”

“I think I’ve asked him to stop folding it around 60 to 70 times. I’ve even shown him how it’s slowly getting damaged.”

“I asked him to buy me a new pillow like it, if I could even find one. He said no.”

The OP had finally reached her limit.

“This morning, after I had my coffee and did my workout downstairs, I went back upstairs to get ready for work.”

“He was already awake, scrolling on his phone. My pillow was folded in half on top of his pillow, and he was lying on it.”

“At that point, I completely lost control and screamed at him.”

“He acted like we had never talked about it before. Like he had no idea he was doing anything wrong. Then he said I have an anger problem.”

“I just feel like I’ve run out of ways to calmly explain why this matters to me.”

“I know I shouldn’t have yelled, but I’m just really frustrated with the whole situation.”

“AIO?”

Other Reddit users shared their thoughts.

Some said NOR: Not Overreacting, and others said YOR: You’re Overreacting.

But many people felt the same way: the boyfriend didn’t care about the OP’s neck pain or comfort.

“He hears you. He refuses to listen.” – lazyesq

“NOR. I had someone like this before. I kept thinking I just wasn’t explaining it well enough. That wasn’t the problem.”

“He just didn’t care.” – Thesugarsky

“Your sleep and comfort don’t matter to him, OP. Believe him.”

“Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me ‘60 to 70 times’…”

“Honestly, 60 to 70 times shocked me.”

“He might as well be shouting from a mountain that he doesn’t care about you or your health.” – OwnTurn1146

“At that point, I would’ve snapped too after repeating myself so many times.”

“At this point, I’d make him pay for a new one. Or if it’s your place, kick him out. What is he even doing?” – RareStrawberry2020

“NOR. If you have to ask someone 60 to 70 times, that’s not normal. Especially when it’s hurting you.”

“This isn’t about a pillow. It’s about respect and ignoring your needs.”

“He ignores you in this ‘small’ thing, so he’ll likely ignore bigger things too.” – Old-Basil4774

“This isn’t about coffee or small habits. This is about your health and well-being.”

“If he can’t respect something small, why would he respect anything bigger?” – Shine_Onyx

Others said she should leave him completely.

“NOR. I would break up. He doesn’t care about your health, and then he blames you for reacting.”

“You shouldn’t have to hide your own things just to keep them safe in a relationship.” – BeautifulDeparture19

Some even joked, but made a point:

“Take his stuff and fold it. See how he likes it. Then leave him.” – coldcanyon1633

At the end of the discussion, many agreed this wasn’t really about a pillow. It was about respect.

If someone keeps ignoring a clear boundary, especially one tied to pain and health, it often says more about the relationship than the object itself.