Vintage Beauty Treatments Best Left in the Past
Rubber Beauty Masks
A skincare procedure is by no means new and for centuries, humans endured themselves crimson-in color, lathering plenty of items over their face in the quest for youth. But for the most part, those earliest rubber beauty masks have to be some of the most terrifying-looking skincare devices ever created. They resemble something straight from a horror flick and we wouldn’t be surprised if some contemporary filmmakers got their sci-fi ideas from beauty masks right out of the early 20th century.
Wikimedia Commons/Wellcome Images
Not that we know whether any of this actually would work, but would we really, perchance don a garment that slowed down our wrinkling just a tad? We think not.
Dimple Device
One of the most frightening implements in this post was invented by a woman named Isabella Gilbert in 1936. Why she made it and what inspired her, we have no idea but we are sure we have seen something like this in a horror movie. Ever wanted a dimple? The dimple device was basically a spring-loaded mask you could wear to achieve the perfect dimples you always wanted. The dimples were also removable, so you had to put this on before each time you went out for the evening.
Getty Images / Bettmann / Contributor
Maybe this is why this device isn’t still around today, so this did take some dedication. The appearance on a person’s face might be another reason the tool for creating dimples faded.
Freckle Remover 1000
Actually, it wasn’t called the Freckle Remover 1000, but doesn’t that sound like a great name for this sort of machine? What other way would you go about assuaging people’s fears after seeing a picture like this? This is the famous “freckle reducing machine,” a device from the early 20th century that used CO2 to erase freckles. Similar to how tattoos are made, one would insert and stamp out freckles from skin with a single dot of ink.
Which meant that they would have to just wait a week for their skin to heal. While that works, it is not healthy. Then again, one shudders at the thought of having to strap into this thing back then.
Boric Acid For Sparkling Eyes
This is gonna get weird, so brace yourself: American actress Joan Crawford reportedly used boric acid to achieve her bright eyes. Who the hell wants to stick acid in their eyes?! Apparently it is C. It turns out that boric acid is not such an uncommon component of contemporary eye drops. But this is only in very small doses, so absolutely don’t soak pads in boric acid and place on your eyelids.
Getty Images / George Hurrell / Contributor
Boric acid is believed to be mildly antiseptic (boric acid is actually found in some eyewashes used for treating irritation). Which, again, is in extremely, minuscule amounts and it actually is terrible for you to ingest the acid.
The Chest Developer
When an inventor has just the same naming sense as yourself[perch] is always great, we thought “chest developer” should work perfectly for this on and well, the inventor agreed. Developed in the new millennium, this breast developer from the 20th century gave women derived from the middle party less saggy skin in the chest area. It allegedly gently vibrated to massage the area and to encourage regrowth. Of course, it lacked actual results.
Getty Images / Library of Congress / Contributor
Hey, it can’t be that great for someone to aim something that beats straight into their chest. After all, your heart should reside in the same area.
A Different Kind of Torture Device
At this point, we’re just going to start naming these gadgets ourselves, because It Is Too Much Fun. In 1932, a Polish scientist by the name of Maksymilian Faktorowicz (we will call him this) invented this contraption and called it the facial defect detector. It was a mask you would wear over your head. There were a lot of minor modifications an operator could make to locate facial “flaws” — as they put it in their ads. The operator would attempt to hide or mask those defects with makeup.
Getty Images / General Photographic Agency / Stringer
Which were apparently fashionable among Hollywood actors. It even emphasises how faces were magnified on the big screen and a tool was indeed needed to catch flaws that were missed by the naked eye for make-up artists.
Receding hairline — Yes, you read that correctly
Rita Hayworth had an operation — hairline receding — the opposite of what most would pay a fortune to do. Which is sad, she went and did this to try be a little “less ethnic” for Hollywood. She would also dye her hair for months at a time and change her name. So what she had done to push back her hairline was really hair electrolysis and it works just like it sounds.
Getty Images / Bettmann / Contributor
A doctor would insert a metal probe and zap the hair follicle to effectively prevent it from growing back. Sounds painful, which, I guess, it would be if you had to do it to avoid discrimination.
The Oxygen Take Awayer
Originally the Glamour Bonnet (that is a terrible name), the contraption and mask were advertised as a skin care product in the 40s. All the new device does is simulate the oxygen levels typically experienced at high altitude, reducing the air pressure. This was the idea behind this simulation, that it would somehow wake up your skin. Not entirely sure, but basically, people were supposed to use this thing to get better skin.
A woman named D.M. Ackerman created these in Hollywood, California, natch. This window, as you can see, is so the patient can read a book whilst slowly choking to death.
An Eyelash Treatment That Was Very Risky
It’s clear that Audrey Hepburn’s signature look did not come about easily. The actress’s makeup artist would take a safety pin and apply eyeliner and then comb each of her lashes apart—one by one. We can’t quibble with the results, but this labor-intensive method probably isn’t worth the effort for most. Adapting principles like this into your beauty routine means that you could easily spend the entire day putting on makeup.
Getty Images / Bettmann / Contributor
Some other tools out there do offer a fair job of lashing separation after the mascara is applied. That’s another thing to purchase but better than a safety pin.
Flips For Fun Complexions
Frances Starr, an American film actress, told Harper’s Bazaar the key to her beautiful visage was eating plain food and rolling over in a somersault before bed. However, we’re not too convinced that doing somersaults (and there’s nothing wrong with doingsomersaults, mind you) actually does anything to your complexion, as the actress possibly claimed. That also helped with indelicate while also making a little bit of sense, but honestly any exercise is probably just as helpful for that.
Getty Images / E. F. Corcoran / Stringer
But if anyone’s actually interested in the beauty regimen, then these have to be done before bed, and you’ll need to do 20 of them, otherwise what even is the point?
Lead Eye Liner
This is one beauty tip we would recommend to steer clear of, but it comes from the ancient Egyptians. This one deals with their iconic eyeliner which you can see here and in many such modern versions. The Egyptians wore a substance called kohl to attain this appearance. Essentially, it looked like a powder which consisted of lead. Needless to say, the Egyptians probably experienced all sorts of nasty health consequences as a result of this.
Since 18th century AD, people knew and suspected lead to be a hazard for human health. Even so, it was not until the beginning of the 20th century that Rimmel invented the first non-toxic eyeliner and provided people with that.
Bring Home Some of Those Sun’s UV Rays
Here is your UV light for those who like to tan but from the comfort of their home. Which, in fairness, isn’t exactly surprising. Tanning beds are still a thing in 2023- and we know how much those can cause cancer, right? Honestly the woman in this photo wearing sunglasses is the least surprising part about the skin care inventions we’ve seen.
Getty Images / Bettmann / Contributor
It also probably made every space you put it in unbearably hot. You can picture just using the giant industrial UV light you would setup in your living room. You could simply step outside to catch a tan, that would have been simpler.
A Little Help With Losing Some Weight: Tapeworms
Weight loss scams and treatments are still nearly omnipresent. It is somewhat comforting, then, to learn that folks back in the day were even more extreme in their quest to shed a few pounds. The Early 1900s: Probably the most lethal method of losing weight There were companies that sold people tapeworms to swallow. Indeed, there were humans who purposely infected themselves with a parasite in order to shed some pounds.
The tapeworm would get you within the range of the weight you wanted, and you could then pop a pill—essentially a cure. It may sound alien but sadly, seems to be happening in this day & age.
Painted On Pantyhose
Those who know even a little bit about World War II should know that even the people who never set foot in the war, had to sacrifice things because of the war. Oil was the one in short supply, and one, by chance, of the items which derived from it was nylon. A material diverted from everyday pantyhose for the masses and into its war effort usage in garments ranging from parachutes to bags.
Jhayne / Flickr / CC BY-NC-SA 2.0
This inspired some creativity, and eventually they started using paint and even gravy occasionally instead of nylon. It was essentially a liquid that you painted on your legs to create the appearance of wearing pantyhose.
Weight Reducer
This photograph is a little bit depressing in many ways. Well, for one this never actually left. This specific machine is a relic of the past, however, the general idea of “massaging away the fat” is still being imitated all over the the weight loss world. We’re not entirely sure how this massage machine worked, but we’re pretty sure why you don’t see it anymore.
In today’s world, it simply is way too big and unwieldy to be useful. I mean, unless you have a full gym inside your house, where the heck do most people even put one of these freaking things?
Want A Perm? Think Again
Long before we had nifty newfangled models such as the blow dryer, or whatever you get perms with nowadays, we had these. And I guess this is how you got a perm during the industrial revolution? Created in 1906 by a man named Charles Nessler, these devices were known as permanent wave machine (okay, so maybe not quite as catchy as perm contraption 1000) These giant machines had become extremely common up until about the 1940s.
Getty Images / Archive Photos / Stringer
The machine heated up your hair and blasted a bit of water and chemicals for good measure into it, and the end result was a head of curly perm.
Using Lysol To Clean… Areas
Many folks clean their homes with Lysol and disinfect with it until this day, but once upon a time it was used for douching. Yup — it was actually used historically as a douching solution until approximately 1960. During this time, it was also used as a method of birth control. Our assumptions are that if it can do your abode, it can do other things. Instead, it resulted in approximately 193 fatalities.
The copy in the ad itself is also quite cringe-y, but I suppose the pursuit of percieved beauty and hygiene does strange things to folks. Fortunately, all we use Lysol for now is wiping down counters
Blackened Teeth
Japanese women have blackened their teeth for centuries, and even today a some are still practicing it. The reason, as it turns out, is pretty interesting. Unlike the West, where black represented impurity, black was considered a very divine color. But married Japanese women, however, would blacken their teeth Though their teeth blackened do signify that they are actually married.
Finally the tradition faded amongst the masses, and became a pastime of the rich. Today, the tradition is barely practiced, but you can still see someone with black teeth walking around.
Nose Shaper Model 25
For thousands of years, humans have worn things to modify their body or their skin. Still, the competition nose shaper seen here on a model 25 is possibly the most frightening of the contemporary era. Known as the Trados Nose-Shaper Model 25, these were all the rage in 1918. Sure, we can see wanting to change some facial features before modern plastic surgery, but this seems to be a bit much.
It looks pretty painful. And while that juggernaut of an ad is funny in and off itself, it’s actually kind of a funny in a bad way. Almost like the ad is giving us a backhanded compliment or something.
Hollywood’s Torturous Diet
Hollywood was a different animal back then. As an example, Judy Garland once said that the powers that be back at MGM wanted her to slim down, so they put her on an extreme diet. Her diet consisted only of chicken soup, coffee, and 80 cigarettes a day. Though we in no way, shape or form endorse this particular diet, we understand how this one may be effective. Quite literally, a blend of hunger and nicotine.
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Garland also claimed to have given her diet pills, which is a wee bit more debatable as to whether or not these sorts of things are effective. Certain pills — many, in fact; there was never a shortage of pills — still doing the rounds today, in fact, in promising you could lose weight.
Heat Masks and Ice Bath Masks
Ladies once smothered their faces with literal ice cubes. You had to wear these ice masks to cool down your face until, thankfully, Max Factor came up with something a little more contemporary. This is the same dude who created the giant device we saw measuring facial defects. It’s less nutty than his later invention though, as people right now still use ice or devices that generate cold to improve their skincare routine.
Getty Images / Bettmann / Contributor
Then there were the heat masksKOAT featured above. Used to wrap around women’s face for even skin.
Stencils For You Lips
Apparently, everytime has come up with its own utterly unnecessary innovations. With this lipstick stencil, people were told that as long as they used the lipstick stencil, they would be able to put their lipstick on to perfection. Well, applying lipstick isn’t that complicated, which could be the explanation for the long-gone trend of these small devices. Makeup is expensive enough, don’t spend more money on it for an argumentatively non-beneficial necessity. And if you slap it on any old face it looks a little scary too.
Getty Images / George Rinhart / Contributor
Or perhaps these actually do work. If you want what the ads called “cupid’s lips,” that is.
A Hair Dryer for Aliens
As for the early hairdryer we just took one of, there appear to have been many others. It’s a little smaller than the last one, but at least it still looks like something that could penetrate your brain waves. It also gives it a pretty cool, futuristic appearance. But we obviously knew these were temporary, and people thankfully have a handheld dryer to dry their hair in the comfort of their own home.
Getty Images / Imagno / Contributor
That also raises the question, what is happening to the thousand tubes coming out of the back of the machine. What do you need besides plain old air to get hair dry between washings?
Defect Magnifier
Here is another device to identify defects in faces. But it works in a different way than what Max Factor’s device did. This machine apparently enlarges your mug so a beautician can examine your facial imperfections up close and personal. We aren’t clear on how that works when most facial features are essentially visible, but this really is more sci-fi looking than Factor’s device.
Getty Images / New York Times Co. / Contributor
But, this one beauty treatment we may have to pass on. Even if the only thing inside is a massive magnifying glass or something to that effect, looks so dangerously tricky in there.
Using A Literal Iron
Do you remember how straight hair was so unattainable back then? Well, wonder no more. Part of the solution that went with a hair straightener was a relatively simple hair treatment used prior. It was simply used the same iron used for pressing clothes. The modern hair straightener aside, yes that overly hot tool used exclusively to flatten clothes today was also used to straighten hair back in the day.
We’re not sure on the stats, but I think we can assume that this was even worse for your hair than today’s straighteners.
A Vacuum For Your Face
This image might resonate with you if you ever used to press the end of a vacuum to your face as a child. These gizmos were back in the 1930s and had guaranteed individuals smoother skin. With it no doubt came the assumption of clearer skin, but now we know beauty tricks like these are full of just: tricks. And it looks a little scary for the patient in this photo as well.
More like it looks like someone is getting surgery here actually, and we bet that same sort of panic was running through this poor woman while all of this was going on.
Using Turbans to Dry Your Hair
And this fairly large device was the first hair dryer they used at the turn of the twentieth century. It probably worked real nice (how could it not with what appears to be quintuple turbos added on?) but we’re not sure who was buying something like this. I mean, it’s just so ridiculously oversized that it doesn’t seem like it would even fit in a bathroom that we’ve ever seen.
And it must have been very loud too. Even with all the glaring negatives of the design, you’d honestly be better off just towel drying and waiting half an hour for your hair to dry completely.
Just When You Thought These Beauty Masks Could Not Get Any Creepier
Why do every one of these historical beauty masks remind one of a horror movie? This one was thought up by a woman called Helena Rubinstein and, like most other skincare treatments, probably made the bold claim of eliminating those wrinkles and blemishes. However, like the other mas
We mean, just picture it; if the small gaps that you are expected to breathe from somehow shift even a little. It may just be a panic attack waiting to happen, particularly with a touch of claustrophobia.
Before There Was Sunscreen
Apparently everybody waddled around like ghosts back in the day, before sunscreen. Uncertainty as to why umbrellas were not the go-to in the 1940s persists, but temporarily, for some baffling reason, people believed donning suits was the better way to shield oneself from the sun. This one might actually be the most logical of all the skincare techniques on this list. And I mean, it looks ridiculous, but no one wants skin cancer.
They also wore it to supposedly prevent freckles. Although a most adored list of light, we still have no clue what all the hate on here against freckles particularly is about — but people have always, and still continue to, wish them away.
Like Assembly Lines, But For Your Face
Credit where credit is due for the age of industrialisation: they sure were creating some interesting contraptions. This was an intended multi-people shaving machine. It seems like giving a really sharp razor to a machine with a ton of moving parts isn’t the greatest idea, but I guess this must have been all the rage at the time. We just picture some dude in a board room saying this will reduce man-effort and increase efficiency.
Getty Images / Ken Howard / Stringer
It’s also rather amusing to see the look on the men’s faces. A look of astonishment or existential dread as this thing swooshes blades around your face.
Hang Upside Down To Revive Complexions
Meanwhile, Fannie Ward claimed to Harper’s Bazaar that all that kept her looking so young was half an hour a day hanging upside down. It forces the blood to areas it normally doesn’t reach and helps revive your skin, she said. As interesting as this may sound in some faraway dimension, we are betting the secret lies more in big genes than inverted positions on a daily basis.
Getty Images / Silver Screen Collection / Contributor
However, you would think that this would be long gone to history, their are still a number of websites out there educating the masses that inversion is essential for restoring luster to the head and consequently generating better skin.
Table Salt And Slaps
You know, because that’s what director Ida Lupino suggested that people do in the ’40s if they wanted more toned skin. Not your average, run of the mill activity, but none of the things on this list are exactly conventional. But we at least says that one of her advises actually navigate if you stretch the handle as far as it go. Salt is still present in skincare today.
Getty Images / Hulton Archive / Stringer
Areas like the Dead Sea, which is very salty, are also marketed as skin-friendly. But, honestly, the part where the regime slaps is a little unsensational for us.
Egyptians And Lipstick
For thousands of years, people have been searching for and using different beauty techniques, with the ancient Egyptians probably being one of the best examples for this. Once upon a time, there was such a thing as bromine, which was included in their lipstick. The naturally occurring red pigment was used as cosmetics, and it would have had some rather severe ramifications. Today we know that bromine can make a person come down with a wide range of diseases from prolonged exposure to it.
Getty Images / Silver Screen Collection / Contributor
Although the chemical can lead to kidney failure and brain damage, it can cause hallucinations and psychosis, excitability, daze and even coma. And this is definitely not one of those makeup trends we want making a comeback anytime soon.
Using Radium As Teeth Whitener
Since then, radium has been abused for centuries. At the turn of the 20th century, though, few people realized how toxic radioactive material really was. It was the glassmaking tool of yore, and even now radium bits that glow green with a blacklight are a collector’s item. It was also was used as a teeth whitener. We don’t know if it actually did turn peoples teeth green, but we do know it was terribly damaging.
Women who came into contact with it and painted glowing dials of watches and similar devices were given a nickname: Radium Girls. Most of them would die later or have long-term health consequences.
Getting Rid Of Acne Via Poison
A lot of people still suffer from acne today. While it can lead to lower self-esteem, the impact on your physical health is relatively low. This may come as a shock to some, but did you know that in the 19th century, people turned to toxic chemicals to eliminate acne? Another ingredient frequently found in these acne preparations was nux vomica. If that name sounds a little nasty, it’s because it is.
Strychnine; it is active component with lethal neurotoxin which can induce spasmatic muscle contractions and can act on central nervous system. According to WebMD, it is archaic still for use today as a medicine to treat gastrointestinal problems, with no proof it works. Other treatments for acne at the time also employed arsenic.
Skull Shaping
Note that you don’t need to be modern, or western, to go to extreme lengths just for the sake of beauty. For instance, look at the Maya, who used to tie children onto things in order to give them malformations and form their skulls. And it seems this was a pretty common practice across cultures worldwide. So did the Huns, Germanic tribes, native Americans, Hawaiians, and Tahitians.
It is likely that this particular practice dates back to about 1000 B.C. and is believed to have been primarily decorative in nature with no association with social status.
Turn That Frown Upside Down With Tape
As appeared in a 1941 column, some of this advise here may have some out there scratching their heads legibly. In one of his columns, he instructed women to smile more in their daily lives by using tape across their eyebrows. Sounds a bit silly now but people still do little things like this to motivate themselves to do something or stop themselves from doing something.
Albeit with that something being more smiling, this is quite clearly a column of its time. So are the other ones of advice described here.
Silk To Prevent Sagging
In the good ol days, of magazine culture health columns were all the rage, and to some degree still are. Though this one from Harpers Bazaar should be taken with a grain of salt. But, instead, ordered that people just tie something gentle, like a linen or silk ribbon, from the middle of their face to the highest point in the top of their mind. The rationale for this was that the ribbon would prevent muscles from sagging whilst you slept in order to prevent stiffness.
It even brought my attention of the hours we spend sleeping and how such time could be paired towards building upon your facial muscles. Yeah, no, we think we’ll skip that one.
Toilet Mask
Would you look at that? This beautiful invention didn’t even need a name that we created for it. What makes this tackle even funnier is it seems like whoever named it originally is having doubts as to whether this is the right name, and so they threw in another name in parentheses. So no, toilet masks were not created for what their name implies. Rather — they were just beauty masks that were not you are really sweating your facial skin and your skin pores are open.
Now the rationale here was because it would be good for complexions. It even promised to wipe out spots completely, including wrinkles, blemishes and freckles.
Wearing Whale Bones
Everybody knows corsets, another weight-loss contraption. The clothing worn over a corset is nakedly close to a portrayal to death in modern media — and fittingly so, as it was often the result of a corset. Those garments were real whale bones that probably what makes it so thick. But its stiffness can cause distorsions, after being worn long enough. It kept one slim but it also destroyed the organs.
CharmaineZoe’s Marvelous Melange Follow / Flickr
At times that damage could mean a death many years too young. The old ads, like the one pictured above, sure knew how to yank a phrase out of context, referring to a “Dress reform waist.” It is also to bad he didn’t know anything about irony and, since he was writing the book in English, the book, “Common Sense.”
